Hey babe! Do you worry about the past and the future? Do you lack direction in life, feel inadequate, and long for more joy? If so, read on for some great tips to living in the now. Everyone wants a better, more successful life. The key to having that is found in living in the moment. You’ll hear people talk about living in the now but it can be something that’s difficult to define.
What Does It Mean to Live in the Now?
Living in the now means you maintain your focus on the present moment. It means that you don’t look to the past. Dwelling on the past is one of the reasons that so many people find themselves unhappy. You might be feeling like you wasted years of your life being in a certain relationship.
You might struggle with feelings of inferiority when looking at the past because you think of the life that you should have led. You might worry that the life you’ve had wasn’t productive enough. Maybe all you can see are missed opportunities. This leads to a struggle with regret.
Sometimes, this discontent leads to a struggle with shame. All that looking backward at the past does is to make you feel regret, nostalgia, or wish that you could rewind time to go back. You might think that if only you could go back in time, you could change things and have a better life.
“If only” thinking leads to deep dissatisfaction with the life that you have now. It can lead to feelings of grief and that can turn into depression. Looking toward the past is detrimental to living in the now. It can steal your present happiness. Accept the past for what it is. It made you who you are and gave you the strength and wisdom you now have. Appreciate it, but don’t let it be your focus.
If you’re looking to the future, that’s not living in the now either. When you live with what could be or focus on the future, you can get stuck in judgement. This can lead to not accepting yourself in the now or the life that you’ve built, which causes deep unhappiness.
It’s okay to look forward to the future and to plan for it, but not to the extent that it prevents you from being present in the moment. Living in the now is something that you want to strive for. It can be useful during times of stress or crisis when you keep your focus on the present. You won’t find yourself worrying about what has happened or what could happen.
You’ll be able to develop an attitude of handling a problem as it arises rather than living in a state of bracing for something to happen.
Not only can living in the now help you in times of stress and crisis but also just in managing day-to-day life. You’ll be able to take imperfections for what they are rather than allowing them to blossom into big deals. You’ll be able to appreciate the little things. You’ll stop measuring yourself and focus on self-love.
12 Reasons to Live in the Now
There are many reasons to live in the now. Doing so can improve every area of your life. You’ll live happier and in greater freedom from things that would normally weigh you down or hold you back. Here are the reasons why you need to live in the now…
Reason #1: You’ll feel better emotionally.
When you live in the now, your focus is on what you have, not what you lost, what was, or what will be. You won’t waste your precious hours dwelling on anything. You won’t live in discontentment and focus on what’s going to be.
You’ll simply be open to life as it’s happening to you. When you do this, you’ll find that your joy in life is magnified. You’ll smile more often and you won’t have that feeling that the world is sitting on your shoulders. You won’t feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends. Instead of just existing, you’ll be living life to the fullest.
Reason #2: Your mental energy won’t be wasted.
It can be exhausting having your thoughts jump through the hoops of “what if…” or “if only I had…” which in turn leads to physical fatigue. When you guide your thoughts to living in the now, you’ll discover that you don’t waste energy dwelling on things that don’t matter. You’ll gain freedom from pressure and worry.
Reason #3: Living in the now can rid your life of chaos.
You won’t find yourself reacting to things anxiously or fearfully. You’ll have a sense of peace and well-being even during the times that something is going wrong. You’ll feel this way because you’ll understand that living in the moment means that whatever is going on is current and doesn’t mean it’s always going to be that way. You’ll know that chaos is transient and doesn’t have the power to steal your peace of mind unless you give it control.
Reason #4: When you live in the now, it boosts your self-esteem.
You’ll have self-assurance and understand that you’re fully capable of handling your life. The way that you approach situations and others will change. You’ll be aware of your strength and wisdom and you’ll know that you’re prepared to deal with each thing as it arises.
Reason #5: Your understanding will increase.
When you live in the now, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what’s right and which direction to go when you need to make a decision. Many decisions are made out of fear of what might happen in the future rather than weighing the truth of the options at hand.
Reason #6: Being present alters who you are.
You won’t be stressed out or worrying all the time. You’ll take things moment by moment. Your reactions will be formed out of living in what is. Because of this, you’ll discover that other people will be drawn to you. They will be drawn to your positivity, your calm outlook on life. They’ll see your peace. The people that are drawn to you will be ones that support you and give back rather than people that act as emotional drainers.
Reason #7: You’ll accept the forks in the road.
When change occurs, whether unexpected or planned, you’ll know that everything is going to work out. You won’t waste time or mental energy feeling like you didn’t get what you deserved.
You won’t go through life expecting things because you’ll be focused on what you have with a positive, thankful attitude. If something does go wrong, you’ll be able to take it in stride. It won’t shake your belief in yourself or in the goodness of your life.
Reason #8: You’ll stop trying to be perfect.
When you stop trying to orchestrate what happens to you or what unfolds in your life, you’ll realize that the now is what you have before you. You’ll stop being focused on planning your life to perfection.
When you live in the now, you won’t worry if something goes on that you didn’t plan. Every time life throws you a curveball, you’ll be able to accept it and still live happy, rather than getting caught up in what “should have” been.
Reason #9: Living in the now can add years to your life.
That’s because you don’t let stress ruin your life. You don’t allow the negatives and things you can’t control to become a roadblock. Stress tends crops up when you don’t focus on the moment. Perfectionism when planning the future is an example of this.
Many people want to erase bumps, roadblocks, and distractions from their goal planning because they want the perfect future. This strategy doesn’t allow for changes or failures. When it happens, they start to worry about what it means to their future and how they’re going to fix things.
When you start focusing on the future whether things have gone wrong or not, gently bring your thoughts back to the present. Being aware of the current moment keeps you from stressing on the moments that haven’t even happened.
Reason #10: Practicing living in the now because it gives you a positive outlook.
When you have a positive outlook, you have a stronger tendency to see life as good and you expect good. When you expect good, your emotions follow suit. Your thoughts can change the emotional landscape of your life.
Reason #11: Living in the now brings balance to your life.
You’ll discover that you can go through life trustfully knowing on a conscious level that what your life is as it should be. In addition, you’ll develop a faith that your present moment is exactly where you’re supposed to be.
When your life is in balance, it means that what’s important to you will be able to be center stage. You won’t miss the opportunities life gives you.
These opportunities may show up in hundreds of different ways. Such as paying full attention to the conversation of a child, picking up the nonverbal cues given to you by your partner or being in tune to your own needs or the needs of someone else
Reason #12: You’ll stop using a subconscious script when you live in the now.
Too many people overanalyze their lives and waste their moments trying to decide what’s really going on. Living in the moment allows you to take things and people at face value. You won’t second-guess their actions or motives.
How Living in the Now Strengthens Your Relationships
Everyone wants to have healthy strong relationships but not many people know that living in the now is exactly how you develop those types of relationships. It’s all about what you choose to focus on in the relationship that makes all the difference in the world.
Being fully present lets you look at the foundation of your relationships and allows you to be nurturing rather than wasting time and effort trying to fix what you believe is wrong with the other person.
When you’re living in the now, you develop a deeper level of kindness and connection toward the other person.
Rather than rehashing and reacting to what you perceive are flaws—or even what irritates you about the other person—living in the now lets you become accepting. When you accept other people as they are, they tend not to be as defensive. Their guard is lowered and true bonds can be formed.
You’ll be able to grow within the relationship. As a result, you can change the tone of the interactions you have with those you care about. When you live in the present, you have relationships where loving honesty are at the forefront. This allows the relationship to flourish. So if you’re ready to nurture your relationships, here’s what you can do to strengthen your bond today…
Practice paying attention.
When the other person is speaking, give them your full focus. When you multitask as someone is talking to you, it makes them feel like they’re not important enough for your full attention.
By giving half of your attention away when someone else needs you to be present, you’re robbing yourself and them of the full benefit and enjoyment of your relationship. However, when you pay attention, you’re living in the moment. This deepens the level of the relationship and allows you to feel closer to the other person.
Check your emotions by being in the present.
When you’re in the present, you’re not allowing the emotions from the past to interfere with your relationship. Constantly holding onto things that bothered you then allowing those things to remain in your thoughts or to come out during an argument can erode the relationship over time.
Your emotions become heightened when you carry past baggage into the present. You end up saying things that you may not truly mean. This happens because you’re not speaking with present emotions but with past ones. Checking your emotions allows you to break the circle of constantly fighting over the same things.
Use living in the moment to guide you on how to deal with relationships now. Look for self-teaching moments. This is when you stop and check in with yourself. Ask what the best way is to handle the situation. Look to see if you reacted emotionally and created friction rather than acted mindfully and created peace.
What checking yourself does is boost the strength of the relationship. You’re not busy looking at what the other person is doing. Instead, you’re focusing on what your responsibility is.
Being mindful enables you to control and manage your feelings and actions. It also means you don’t have to be in control of the outcome of the relationship. You’re free to let it evolve.
In the end, the only person you’re capable of changing or improving is yourself. When you focus on strengthening the relationship, it lets the other person “off the hook.” Taking off that pressure prompts others to feel better and react differently toward you.
Create the future you want.
When you behave mindfully in any relationship, it shapes how it will be in the future. Many people have hopes of loving, fulfilling, relationships but don’t realize that today’s behaviors and words create that. If you want love and peace, you have to plant and cultivate those seeds.
Let go of your expectations.
Living in the moment makes you let other people off the hook. People won’t follow the script that you have in your head. They won’t react as kindly or as romantically as you had hoped and sometimes, this can be painful.
When you keep your focus on the now, it lets you see past the surface of that person’s response. You’ll develop empathy and realize that the other person is under stress or they’re worried or something is going on that has absolutely nothing to do with you. Being mindful allows you to take a step back to see the truth.
Own up to what’s happening.
Living in the now helps you to deal with whatever issues are going on in a relationship rather than ducking it. Every relationship has flaws because humans have flaws. Some flaws can be so big that if not dealt with, it can wreck the relationship.
You can strengthen it by approaching the other person with your feelings now mindset. This helps you not to lay blame and use words that are guaranteed to make the other person defensive like “You always” which is accusatory.
Instead, living in the now will help you to address others calmly. You’ll be able to change the tone by saying, “Right now, I feel let down,” and that enables the conversation to start and the situation to be resolved.
Set your intention each day.
Let mindfulness make you more forgiving toward those in your life that you care about. When you get up each morning, think of two things that you can do to help the relationship grow closer. This might be two acts of kindness such as leaving a caring voicemail, writing a note or simply saying, “I love you and I’m on your side.” Your relationships take work. However, living in the now makes it easier to strengthen your bond and build the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.
Why Living in the Now Makes You More Resilient
Living in the now stops the mental chatter that consistently goes on in your mind. This chatter is what keeps you thinking about what happened yesterday, what’s going to go on at work tomorrow and all the hundred and one responsibilities you have on your plate.
When you’re fully present, the things that you do right now become your goal rather than being the destination. For example, this could be something like learning to play a new instrument. You spend time enjoying the practice and the art of learning rather than focusing your attention on the complex song that you want to be able to play once you learn the instrument.
You’ll learn to eat less but enjoy more. When you feel the strong desire to go and get a snack or you want something you know isn’t good for you, living in the now helps you to overcome these cravings.
It does this because you realize all you have to make it through is this moment. You don’t have to worry about what you’re going to do for tomorrow’s mid-morning junk food hunger pangs.
Each little moment of the new becomes its own success story. That empowers you and makes you more resilient so you’re able to handle the next difficulty that arises.
If you have a goal to lose weight, living in the now helps you not to focus on the entire twenty pounds. Instead, you can focus on losing what you can today, one pound at a time. You keep your attention on what you’re eating now, what exercises you’re doing today. You don’t worry about how you’re going to beat a future plateau. Mindfulness allows you to enjoy what you eat, to feel the texture, to appreciate the aroma and to delight in the taste. You enjoy your food more when you live in the now.
Change becomes easier. Just focus on one little change at a time. In the end, the little changes add up to successfully reaching your goal. Living in the now helps you stay in control. It also helps you overcome self-defeating thoughts and habits such as drinking too much, smoking, skipping sleep, or skipping meals.
Taking care of yourself becomes more doable when you’re living in the now. You can concentrate on one healthy action at a time. Eating a healthy snack, going to bed earlier, or walking around the block today are good examples.
You don’t have to concentrate on making sure you get to the gym every single day of the week. All you have to put your focus on is working out today. You don’t even have to focus on making sure you exercise for thirty minutes. You just complete whatever exercise you’re doing during the moment.
Reaching your goals will become easier. You’ll be able to make your plans by focusing on which step you have to do right now. You don’t have to have all the answers today. You simply need the first step. That first step is what leads you to being able to handle whatever it is you want to do in life.
This will help you stop feeling overwhelmed with large projects. Instead, you’ll choose to look at the small steps and accomplish those, which become a completed project.
As you develop this resilience, you can quickly learn how to understand yourself. This helps you to stop living with stress or worry or anxiety about situations.
When you feel upset about something, take a moment to focus on yourself. If you feel dread or fear, take a deep breath and allow your subconscious to come to the forefront of your mind. You’ll be able to connect the emotion with the thought that was used to create it.
For example, you may realize that you felt dread after hearing your partner mention that layoffs were happening at his or her place of employment. When you focus on connecting that information with the present emotion and physical reaction, it’ll help you to see that your dread isn’t permanent.
By addressing it, you’ll be able to let it go rather than allow the dread to continue to build to the point where you feel fearful about your future.
Let resilience improve the moments in your life. When you live in the now, it can help you to become more aware of what you’re doing that could have a negative effect. For example, hitting the snooze button repeatedly can cause you to sleep in, wake feeling groggy, and leave you rushing around in the morning in order to get to your job or school.
By being mindful, you’re aware of the value of your time. You become aware of how one moment affects the next.
How to Become Resilient through Mindfulness
The first way to become resilient through mindfulness is to refuse to see a problem as unending. When problems or negative situations occur in your life, don’t fall into the trap of believing that they’re going to last forever. This lets a hopeless mindset develop.
When you have problems, they can sometimes interfere with your life plans or impede your goals. However, you shouldn’t give up and quit going after what you want. If you do that, you’re effectively saying that your problems are bigger than your ability to overcome them.
Develop the mindset of “this is temporary.” List ways or action steps that you can take to overcome the situation. Next, embrace change. If there’s one guarantee in life it’s that is that no two days are the same.
You might plan to live in the city then you lose your job and the opportunity that opened up for you is on the other coast. When you embrace change, you’re open to opportunities even though they may not always appear in the way you hoped they would.
The third way to become resilient is to refuse to sit still. When you want something in life or you have a dream, don’t allow inaction to take it from you. Every day, do something that takes you closer to achieving your goal.
If your goal is to own your own business, this might be something like signing up for a business class or writing out a business plan. If you want to get healthier, it could be something simple such as getting rid of the food in your house that causes you to binge eat.
The next thing you should do is make decisions sooner rather than later. Avoidance doesn’t solve issues and it doesn’t get you where you need to be. If there’s a relationship issue, you need to handle, do it. If you’re interested in talking to someone, make a move and speak up.
While you’re making decisions, resolve to change your self-view. Many people think far less of themselves than they should. You downplay your accomplishments. You look at the negative things about yourself by thinking you’re too awkward, too big, or too small.
You don’t like the way you look, the way you voice sounds. However, by learning how to think of yourself in a positive way, you bolster not only your self-esteem but your belief that you can achieve whatever you set your mind to.
Finally, negative things happen, look for the positive. There’s always something good to find about everything that happens. However, the problem is that most people focus on the negative and then miss the good. That’s not to say that everything that comes into your life will feel good but it can work out for your good.
How Living in the Now Leads to Inner Peace
Peace is something that many people are missing in their lives. You don’t have to live that way. When you live in the now, it can lead to inner peace. You can find the calm that you’re looking for.
Start by dialing it back. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You don’t have to be available all the time and you don’t have to let social media rule your day. Give yourself limits to how much time you’ll give things or people that drain you.
Next, make a date with relaxation. This might mean listening to music, using visualization, or meditation. It might mean taking off for an afternoon to do nothing but just relax.
While you’re at it, don’t use a wide-angle view of your life. When you look at everything at once, it can create inner panic. This can happen with both bad things or good things.
Ask yourself how important the situation is on a scale of one to ten. Then ask yourself if what’s happening will still be important to you a year down the road. This will help you keep your perspective, no matter what happens.
Another way to find inner peace is to stop rushing. When you’re in a hurry, it affects your outlook and creates stress. Take your time as you go through your day. Be present when you eat, laugh, and love. When you stop the rush, you’ll find that inner peace blooms.
Next, beware of the things that own you. When you have too much stuff, you waste your peace trying to take care of it and you end up letting your things encroach your space. When your home or office is filled with things that nag at your mind, it creates mental chaos and steals peace. Let go of things you don’t need or want.
If you struggle to release an object, consider taking a photo of it. Then you can keep the photo but let go of the object. Remind yourself as you do this that you’re giving a second life to the object by passing it on to someone else to be loved and cared for.
The final way to keep your inner peace is to focus on a “this moment” mantra in your mind. When thoughts about what you should do in the future crop up and you get that tight feeling in your stomach, say to yourself, “I only have to deal with this moment.”
A Better, More Successful Life Can Be Yours
Living in the moment might feel difficult at first. That’s only because it’s a new thing and sometimes, new things feel scary. Just like learning to ride a bicycle, it gets easier the more you do it. If you keep trying, you’ll be putting your hands up and enjoying the ride in no time at all!
Live A Life of Passion
The 6-module course will take you on a journey of self-discovery as you find your true passions in life and the courage to follow your dreams. You get the tools to truly understand who you are and start loving yourself fiercely enough to live your dreams.
The modules contain video lessons and transcripts with actionable steps that you can quickly implement in your daily life. Forget all about fluffy e-books that leave you none the wiser – the course contains straight-to-the point lessons, understandable summaries, and tangible, actionable steps.
You will also get lifetime access to the FB group where you will get the support of likeminded women, live coaching calls, and regular freebies such as e-books to support you on your journey – from the course starts and as long as you need it.